


I hate you but I love you

by Damian_wayne13



Series: Damian wayne oneshots and stories [3]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman and Robin (Comics), Robin (Comics), Super Sons (Comics)
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Damian Wayne Feels, Damian Wayne is Bad at Feelings, Damian Wayne-centric, Evil, Evil Jon, F/M, Hurt Damian Wayne, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Protective Batfamily (DCU), Protective Older Brothers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-01-31 04:24:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21440191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Damian_wayne13/pseuds/Damian_wayne13
Summary: Damian always knew loving would hurt , he had seen the examples set by his father then his brothers and now himself but despite everything he thought that loving only bought a emotional pain which he could escape but he never knew that loving also forced people to stayIf only he had been more careful but he knew it was too late now, nothing would ever be okay againNever.OR a Jondami AU with evil jon who wants to conquer the world and everyone just keeps thinking that it is damian's fault until it turns out it wasn't and that revelation comes with the horrifying truth no one wants to face
Relationships: Jonathan Kent/Damian Wayne
Series: Damian wayne oneshots and stories [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1545703
Comments: 23
Kudos: 228





	1. Chapter 1

Mary Gordon grayson had a mission and as the current owner of the mantle of batwing she had to succeed . Her mission ? 

Simple . Find out Jonathan Kent's weakness and how damian wayne made him turn evil

If only it was even half as simple as it sounds 

Damian Wayne was a person she had heard alot about because apparently he had made Jonathan kent turn evil and that was not ok at all but she never found him to be at fault though because Jonathan had to have turned evil himself but then again no body liked damian . They all thought he had betrayed his family so she did too.

If only someone had prepared her for the cruel cruel reality she had the burden of carrying. 

Something damian himself told her and begged her not to repeat but she just couldn't forget that one incident that made her build up respect for the guy and she really really wanted to tell her father about the incident but she made a promise and she was not one to break promises 

A little to ahead of time ?

Let's start at the very beginning of the mission 

Mary was running from superman regime's guards as fast as she could . She had almost gotten caught and getting caught was not an option. 

* * *

_" what do we have here " said a voice that sent chills down her body _

_" we found this intruder outside trying to break in " said one of the guards _

_" this is no intruder my dear servant this is the daughter of Richard grayson , some one very beneficial to us . " he gave a twisted smile "take her to the dungeons " he yelled _

_And mary was terrified ._

_" yes sir " the guards obeyed _

_After being trapped in the dungeons she heard a voice from a crack in the wall _

_She could slightly see what was happening and hear quite clearly too_

_" she is my niece Jonathan you cannot hurt her and when i agreed to live with you , you promised you won't kill innocent people " yelled a voice she had only heard in home videos and that too rarely since no one like seeing him _

_" shut up " the voice who told the guards to take her to the dungeons said _

_" but jona-" _

_There was sickening sound of a slap which she never ever wanted to hear and the smaller man was on the floor with a bleeding cheek _

_" okay now you listen my dear slave you belong to me and you do as I say and when you don't some one really undeserving of death dies . So unless you want for an innocent person to be killed you will go back like the good little slave you are ." He said with a mocking tone _

_" jon I do not belong to you " the smaller male hissed and another slap as the larger man 'Jon' grabbed his hair _

_" it's sir to you " said ' jon '_

_" as if " answered the smaller male _

_" guards " Jonathan called and the guards came holding a little boy no older than four and jon put a knife on his neck _

_" sir no " the smaller male said completely sitting on his knees and bowing his head like he was a pet and the level humiliation he was feeling could be seen just by looking at him for a second _

_" good decision damian " jon said while removing his knife from the little boy's neck _

_And with that damian was left alone and after he left mary stopped watching because it was truly heart breaking to hear her uncle who is just twenty one cry._

_After an hour or so later damian came downstairs in to the dungeons and entered Mary's cell _

_" you do look like your father " he said after taking a good look at her _

_she looked at him and asked " why are you here ? "_

_" to help you ofcourse " he answered cheerfully and no one would have guessed that he was just beaten by his husband. And they both started walking from an underground pathway_

_" but why " she asked _

_" because you deserve better than this hellhole believe me every one does " _

_" but not you ? " she asked again _

_" but not me" he clarified with a sad smile making her heart ache _

_" damian you know I saw what just happened and if you have a way to free me then why not leave ? " she asked though this time it was more emotional _

_" I know you saw and I know how to help you leave " he answered ignoring the last part of the question _

_" we both can leave then " she said hopefully_

_Sure her father would be mad but she saw that and there is no way anyone deserves to be with a person who could potentially hurt them _

_" I can't leave Jonathan " he answered _

_" why ? "_

_" because if I leave he wouldn't have anyone to take his anger out on and there are so many people here who don't deserve to die but he will kill them for sure but if I am here he doesn't hurt anybody else but me, plus it isn't like my father gives a shit and everyone just thinks I turned jon evil " he said trying to remain strong _

_" didn't you ? " she asked confused _

_Damian gave a humorless chuckle _

_" nope that was all his grand father " damian replied stretching the all _

_" then why don't you tell them the truth " she tried _

_" because I don't want pity " _

_" they are your family " _

_" they never cared " he said and they both fell in a uncomfortable silence _

_" how do you know a way to help escape from here. Are you the one who helps people escape this place ? " she asks_

_And damian just nods_

_" but what if he finds out " she wondered out loud _

_" then something happens which I am well versed with " _

_" like what I saw form the crack " _

_" that was jon being nice you should see him angry or ....not " _

_And after that they were at a gate _

_" now mary listen do not tell anyone of this and by anyone I mean not even your father " _

_" ok but I have one question " she said unsurly _

_" ask away " the older said with a charming smile _

_" how old are you damian ? "_

_" 21 "_

_" and you have been living with jon for six years meaning you were a minor and only 15 but my grandfather let you leave " she said while deep in thought _

_" so.."_

_" so nothing just take care of yourself I won't tell anyone but please always remember that you are always welcome at the wayne manor " _

* * *

So that was how it happened and she remained quite for as long as she could untill on night when damian Wayne's bloodied figure entered wayne manor and collapsed right in front of their front door.

Then she spoke 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so please remember that while writing this chapter in had a fever 101 or 102 so it is not that good and no dialogues are there but to further understand the story kindly read it 
> 
> Tell me your thoughts about it   
Annie

You know that feeling when you love someone so damn much but you know that person will never love you back ? 

That was him with jon 

When damian was growing up maybe about twelve or thirteen he had known that he had fallen in love with jon but if only he had known the price he would have to pay for that 

He loved jon with his entire being and as much as he wanted to say that he did not love jon anymore he knew he would be lying to himself 

He just wished someone would save him , all his pride and ego had been long lost leaving him with a feeling of emptiness and longing 

Longing for something non existent , he longed for love 

Unfortunately that was something he could never recieve atleast from Jonathan he couldn't 

He knows what jon does is wrong and he knows that being bed ridden for days isn't normal but then again love makes people do things they don't want right ? 

In his case that is staying 

And as much as he hates it deep down he knows he has fallen hard for jon if only he could leave then maybe one day he could be happy 

He wonders what happiness would feel like sometimes 

He was never happy with his father as he constantly looked at him like a criminal but he couldn't say it to damian's face which made it worse , it was as if this stalker who never left you but didn't appear in front of you either because he wanted no contact , that stalker would never hurt you but you would hurt anyways and that was Bruce for damian

Some one who would not hit or yell or even talk but his eyes spoke so much and hit damian so much and loud as hell did they yell — damian hated him but loved him too 

Maybe jon wasn't the first time he discovered toxic love since that would be his mother then his father and brothers then jon , people tend to ignore the fact that toxic love isn't just romantically sometimes it's with families who could hurt you way before you understood the word love 

But not a lot of families did that unfortunately though, damain had always been unique and this would be no exception 

During his life all of these people whom he ' loved ' or knowing damian ' loves ' taught him something 

During his time with his mother , he was cruel and mean and rude and all those things that he still hates himself for — but now those things went away , the guilt didn't 

His mother would hit him , beat him to unconsciousness and often make him cry to sleep but he loved her because talia al ghul was a bitch but she was a manipulative bitch and damian was the person she manipulated best 

She would promise him impossibilities , she promised him the world in exchange of emotions and he unwillingly accepted 

She did not only teach him pain , she also taught him control over it 

Time with his father was hard , he was constantly being judged and hurt and unconsciously that hurt made him stronger 

His wet pillows were where he left his emotions at but after a night of pain ful cries he became damian wayne a mask of the boy he wants to be but never got to be 

He would be aggressive and hated his sibling but he was just jealous how easily they could talk when he would talk he would be so afraid of being laughed at or of sounding weird that he stopped talking at all unless insulting some one which made every one think of him as cruel or arrogant but he was just hurting 

He was also jealous how easily his siblings received his father's approval because when it was his turn he would barely get a smile out 

He remembers how he would win something and tell alfred to ask his father to come and then mask his excitement to show his father but his eyes reflected every thing 

His father never showed up though 

It he would be honest he still loved his father because he admired him , meeting Bruce was his picture perfect dream just like a family with Bruce in it was his picture perfect life and some childishness inside of him made his hold onto that for so long 

He also hoped that his father would have some kind of love for him and that childishness made him hold onto that as well 

His father did not only teach him hope — he also taught him the hurt that came when it was stolen away 

The last person he hoped for happiness with was Jonathan, he fell in love with him since he saw him for the first time at the age of eight and he doesn't think he knew what love was back then but now it he thinks of the butterflies in his stomach and small giggles that came with him talking and the faint blush covering his cheeks with his thought made him realize that jon was the guy 

At the age of thirteen they both confessed , by the age of fifteen jon left his boyfriend to meet his grandfather for a few months but suddenly came back as a twenty one year old

Unfortunately he still loved Damian and damian loved him so against all odds they became a couple and after a few months damian had to leave along with jon 

A week later jon attacked the league base , a year later jon successfully conquered the world 

The man wasn't the most cruel and he wouldn't kill people alot, as long as you followed his rules — which weren't a lot — and didn't disobey him he was the nicest guy and provided freedom of speech , so wouldn't kill you if you disrespect him 

So the entire world knowing they would be killed in an instance if they don't listen to him have him the title of the king, as nice as he was once angry he wouldn't mind killing a million innocent people — he had blown up a city in anger thrice already killing tons of people each time — but other than that damian did a good job controlling his anger 

Because if he was the king then damian was his queen 

People thought damian had turned him evil but ofcourse it had not been the young boy since he was only blamed because of his past 

No one knew the truth and no one would ever see what happened behind the close doors of king regime's close bed room doors

If someone were to hear the screams of help or desperate cries of a boy who at a time this started wasn't even an adult — they were to die in heart ache 

Damian was beautiful if someone were to hate him even they would accept he was ethereal more feminine than masculine but a real rock if you were to fight him 

So seeing such a beauty who looked so fragile on the ground covered in blood was hard at it's best and impossible at it's worst luckily no one other than jon ever saw the worse 

When ever jon would be angry he would hit damian or often have sex with him tell damian would be left bleeding and unable to walk for weeks but instead of giving him the time of rest , jon would make him work extra hard 

Suddenly though he would pepper Damian's face with kisses and start spoiling him 

Jon was as two faced with the world as he was with damian 

Though it had been a while since he had been nice with damian and damian was breaking 

To damian even though he thought all three of these people taught him something ,he knew jon didn't just teach him hate , jon showed him the topicality of love that had always existed within his life bit he failed to notice it

Times like this made him realize that he was never truely happy 

Today though damian knew he had crossed his limits because jon had beaten him to the point where he could barely move a finger and then fucked him tell he couldn't breath 

Damian had been worse except right now he was in a kind of pain that he had never experienced because jon had not only left him for another slut , jon had ordered the guards to leave him outside in the snow to die or something because apparently Damian was boring 

Even the guards were hesitant to leave their kind queen outside but even in that broken state damian had nodded simply to take the guilt of their shoulders

Before going he had begged then to leave him in front of the wayne manor and they had reluctantly agreed 

They left him at the doorstep lying with the support of a pole 

Times like this made him realize that he was never truly happy

* * *

The wayne manor had been quiet since morning not that it ever wasn't 

Since bruce Wayne's youngest son had left the manor had always been quiet and boring for everyone 

The father of five was sitting in his office sipping a nice and warm cup tea when suddenly a scream rang through the manor 

After about twenty years of being batman it was easy to understand that the scream was not one of pain or fear but of horror and shock 

It was also not hard to understand whom it belonged which was alfred 

After hearing the scream Bruce bolted for the front door of the manor to see what was happening .

And he was appalled at the sight in front of him 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so originally this was a chapter around 4000 words but as I said or in this case wrote i hade a high fever so i made it shorter in order to update and i know I have been stalling for a while and for that i apologize 
> 
> Tell me how you all feel about the chapter and what do u think should happen next 
> 
> Should dami baby go all revengie on every one and secondly
> 
> Happy birthday to our favorite and cutest Gucci boy aka kim taehyung aka v aka army's baby tiger 
> 
> Happy VDay you'll
> 
> P.s I know it was yesterday but I did not post yesterday though I had the chapter written 
> 
> Anyways see you all next decade 
> 
> Bye bye   
Happy new years   
Annie


End file.
